The Tea is Cold
by NnytheStampede
Summary: Chapter Two upon request. May have to up the rating on the second chapter. Now Complete. FordArthur. RR Please.
1. Default Chapter

H2G2

Ford/Arthur

PG-13

_Disclaimer:_ Don't own it. No offense is intended.

_A/N:_ If you don't like slash couplings then you shouldn't be reading this. Reviews are hearted, flames are accepted. However, flames are also printed out, and pasted to my kitchen cupboards so I can laugh and mock them while making coffee before class every morning. _PWP Ahoy!_ **And I did write the love-scene that follows this, but I don't think accepts such things.**

The Tea is Cold

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster had hit Arthur Dent's stomach with much the force of a golden brick. Arthur briefly detected a hint of what might have been lemon before most of his senses left the spaceship _Heart of Gold._ The effect of this drink on such a primitive carbon based life form was total and utter intoxication. After a long quarrelsome discussion with Zaphod Beeblebrox about the circumstances of his current life in space, and his annoying need for something familiar to hang on to of his past, this being in the form of tea, Arthur drunkenly came to an epiphany.

Which is why, ten minutes later and inhibitions thoroughly thrown out, one Ford Prefect found Arthur crawling under the covers of his bed, and slurring quietly, " I finally figured it out, Ford."

" What in the photon are you prattling on about? And why-" Ford startled when Arthur emerged into the dark air of the room behind him.

" I know why you brought me here."

" Might it have to do with your planet exploding?" He could smell the Gargle Blaster on the man's breath.

Arthur lazily traced circles where he assumed Ford's spine was, sending shivers all over his body. The ape decedent nuzzled the back of Ford's neck and head with his face, inhaling quickly the strange smells. The mild scents cleared some of the alcoholic mist shrouding his mind.

But his smile was crooked when he murmured, " Hmm, that's part of it."

Ford Prefect found himself unusually nervous, and swallowed loudly. He made a noise in his throat that suggested to Arthur he was not capable of speaking, but that Arthur should continue whatever it was he had to say.

" You fancy me, Ford. "

Ford Prefect nearly sat up straight.

" Did Zaphod put you up to this?"

" Well, it's funny you should mention him. He's the one that made me realize that- that..." Arthur's voice trailed off in a distracted manner.

It only took Ford a few moments to come to terms with the distraction. Arthur Dent's fingers were in the midst of unbuttoning the front of Ford's shirt when they had come across a bit of trouble with the fourth one down from the top. Ford had difficulties with this particular button too. Unbeknown st to him this was because the button had been replaced early in the shirt's life by a rather elderly lady who chose a button two sizes two large. Ford's heart jumped a few beats then raced to catch up. His hand brushed Arthur's away frantically.

Less distracted Arthur finished his thought, " ...All this time I've been wandering around looking for some familiarity."

" Tea."

" Yes, quite. But, something familiar has been here the whole time."

" Arthur, what does that have to do with me?"

" Now who's being daft?"

"..."

" It's the reason you brought me with you."

" It's not because you're my good friend?" The close proximity with Arthur was taking it's toll on Ford, and he trembled slightly.

" Fifteen years on a planet," Arthur soothed, feeling the tremors, " That's a long time to be away from everything you knew. I'd even go so far as to guess it's enough time to grow attached. Maybe even believe you had lost touch with what was out here. I'm sure you just wanted something familiar near you."

" That's very astute thinking for someone as drunk as you are, Arthur. I'm impressed."

" I've been sober for a while," Arthur acknowledged.

Ford was about to comment on the slim abilities Arthur's species had of sobering up from the universe's most disastrous drink, but the words died on his lips. Arthur's hand, long since leaving the buttons alone, had slithered up to the loose collar and pulled it aside to expose the flesh of Ford's neck and shoulder. What stopped any form of speech was the searing trail of kisses Arthur was agonizingly slowly placing from Ford's collar bone up to his ear. Once there, Arthur started nibbling gently. Ford could not help releasing a soft gasp.

Earlobe idly planted between tongue and lips Arthur managed, " You wanted some- someone familiar."

The words came out quieter. They sounded unsure. They sounded more like Arthur Dent.

" And you?" Ford bit his bottom lip to keep his body from writhing in bliss.

He felt the light smile pressing against his neck and the hot rush of air when Arthur hissed, " Damn the tea."

Again, I did write the love scene/ smut, but I don't think I'm allowed to post it here.


	2. teehee

H2G2

Ford/Arthur

R

SMUT!

_Disclaimer:_ Don't own it. No offense is intended.

_A/N:_ If you don't like slash couplings then you shouldn't be reading this. Reviews are hearted, flames are accepted. However, flames are also printed out, and pasted to my kitchen cupboards so I can laugh and mock them while making coffee before class every morning. PWP Ahoy!

**Upon request... The love-scene**.

Part two: The Tea is Cold

After Arthur affirmed their exchange of emotions verbally, he went still. One hand clutched Ford's shirt protectively, and the other hand was no where to be felt. Ford wondered where it was, but could not bring himself to move to find out. They were very much spooning at this point, and Ford, despite what the rest of his body was saying, realized he was perfectly comfortable with this. Arthur's chest radiated heat dramatically, while the man from the vicinity of Betelgeuse found himself drifting to sleep, and as men from the vicinity of Betelgeuse are prone to do when extremely comfortable, Ford Prefect began to purr softly.

Arthur Dent, who had been nervously clutching to Ford's back the entire time, came back into reality upon hearing the purring. He might have laughed, had it not sent a shot of what can only be described as '_very-happy-indeed_' down his spine and into more alert parts of his body. The man from the planet formerly existing as Earth collected his wits, and rolled Ford Prefect onto his back. Then, after climbing above him, set to the task of the previously mentioned fourth button.

Ford smiled up at Arthur's nervous expression. The troublesome button finally caved and was released, but Arthur's hands continued to tremble as they made their way down the shirt.

When the work was done he tried to make eye contact with Ford, "Could you sit up?"

With a feral grin that only caused Arthur further discomfort, Ford did so, coming unnecessarily close to Arthur's face. The earthman did his best to ignore the look, and slid the shirt off of Ford's body and onto the floor. Then he froze again. _This was much easier when I was drunk,_ Arthur moaned internally,_'I probably look like an idiot.' _

_"_ Arthur..." Ford started. His breath smelled surprisingly pleasant for someone who had been woken up.

" Y-yes, Ford?"

" I think we're skipping a part."

" Really?"

"Yes, really."

" What part m-might that be?"

Ford did not answer. In fact he had replaced the terrifying grin with a softer expression. One Arthur had only seen twice before during drunken episodes on Earth, where Ford, sloshed, would stare mournfully up at the sky. _' He wants you to kiss him,' _Arthur's brain kicked. He closed his eyes and moved his face into Ford's. It was going to be magical, there were going to be fireworks, and Arthur missed his target almost completely. His mouth caught on Ford's bottom lip. He blushed furiously and pulled away, tugging the lip a bit as he went.

Ford Prefect wanted to laugh, was going to laugh, needed to laugh, but could not bring himself to do it. _'Poor Arthur,' _he mused briefly. Arthur looked like he was going to give up and leave. To ensure he did not do this, Ford raised an arm and braced Arthur's neck; fingers tangling in the short, fine strands at his hairline. Slowly, but forcefully he inched their faces close again.

The breath passing by their lips danced together before moving on into the room. Their mouths skimmed each other lightly. There was no way Arthur could miss this time.

Ford whispered, " Try it again."

Arthur hesitated for a moment, when his brain uttered one final command, '_I swear, if you ruin this... Something I've been waiting for, for about three years now, I will jump out your ear and leave you for dead. Do you understand me?' _His lips brushed on Ford's in hesitation one last time, and then melted to them in soft release. It was magic. There were bright flashes against his closed eyelids. Arthur felt familiarity, and took hold of the situation.

A surprised, but pleased noise floated out of Ford's throat and was swallowed by Arthur Dent's mouth as he threaded hands into the alien's hair and pushed him back down to the bed. The kiss deepened into something that was enough to make any other two creature's skin liquefy, jump from the body, and wait somewhere else until it was safe. Ford tried to run his own hands around to remove Arthur's shirt, but the earthman's hands were uncharacteristically clever, grabbing his, and pinning them above his head. Both men groaned as Arthur lay himself down, finally creating the contact they both had been waiting for.

"Mighty Zarquon," Ford uttered after having instigated the first round of motion.

Arthur nestled his face into Ford's neck, and breathed heavily. Shaking fingers passed smoothly down Ford's trapped arms, and stalled along his chest. There they left small feathery pressure marks timed to their hips. Ford noticed that Arthur's fingers were not the only things that were shaking. Arthur himself was trembling all over, and to Ford's embarrassment, he acknowledged that he was too. _' We're both as nervous as a Vogon grandmother in front of the Bugblatter Beast of Traal.' _

When the pace increased, Ford reached his arms out and clawed at the back of Arthur Dent. Arthur, began to kiss Ford's lips again in a frantic sort of way between shy whimpers of pleasure. It had been a long time since either being had been in close contacts, and only a short amount of time passed before they reached the apex of their encounter. Neither one of them even cared that they were still wearing items of clothing, as a pleasured fog rolled over their minds. Ford whispered Arthur's name into the air, and the earthman kissed it off his lips before they both went still.

'_This isn't just familiarity, is it?_' Arthur struggled to think.

If his brain could have rolled over and lit a cigarette, it would have, but instead it grinned sheepishly and answered, ' _Nope. This is love._'

' _You bamboozled me_. _I think I can deal with that._' Arthur physically smiled as he thought this.

Ford Prefect felt the smile against his cheek, ' _And to think, I wasn't even using pheromones.'_

_XD I feel dirty! Yay!_


End file.
